Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Sweating The Small Stuff

By Flea - Be A Survivor

One the things that puts people in their graves faster than smoking, cancer and heart disease combined is stress. I will lay money a lot of the heart attacks people have are directly stress related. You keep it inside until your veins are bulging faster than Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.

It is hard, I know, there are so many stupid people in the world, you are like “Flea, how the hell can I NOT stress.” It always seems to me that Darwin was moron and we are surrounded by idiots. Surely nature should have balanced the scales by now? NO! Thanks to modern medical advances those who got weeded out early in the race are living longer and helping to make your life miserable.

All I can do to assuage my readers fear and anger of the ”idiots” is to try and convince you not to sweat the small stuff. I am VERY, VERY, VERY good at this and my wife will vouch for that. I can literally give two shits what anyone thinks of me or says about me. The whole family drama thing...no problem…I just ignore it all. The idiots on the roads and in the stores? I just shake my head and let it go.

I will admit, the driving thing is a work in progress, there are times when I would love to run an idiot off the road after a near miss…but my wife has really helped me in that department. She is like Cesar Milanand I am the Shih Tzu ready to attack the jogger…she knows when to yank on the leash and say “DOWN BOY!”

There are some things worth fighting for and the morons intertwined with the rest of the population of this great country is not one of them. I have seen people snap and lose it like they have never lost it before and in reality it accomplishes nothing other than making you look like an ass or getting you in trouble with someone (The Law, employer, etc.).

Here are some things that have helped me survive day to day, maybe they will help you, maybe not. I can’t proclaim to know the secret and anyone who says they do is probably one of the idiots adding stress to your life.

1.) Think about your response, don’t just react. When someone pisses you off…DELIBERATLY hold your tongue and give your brain a chance to come up with a calculated response. Blurting out…”EAT SHIT!” to your boss when they irritate you is not a good idea.

2.) Check your emotions at the door. You may think someone did something deliberately to piss on your parade but there is a good possibility they are JUST an idiot. Remember the words of Jesus, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” Some people don’t even KNOW how annoying or abrasive they are. If you have a relationship with them let them know in a calm and collected manner what they do that pisses you off and ask them to kindly stop.

3.) Look at the big picture. If you have a good life and are relatively happy, focus on that. Think to yourself; as much as I would like to stab this person with my pen in the eye, I am NOT going to let them ruin my day. I usually think of the person who pissing me off in some ridiculous situation, I have caught myself laughing out loud more than once while looking right at the offender. This really works, try it.

These are just a few of the simple things I do to help me survive the daily grind with the "common sense challenged" folks I deal with on an almost daily basis. Maybe these simple steps can help you start a transformation from someone with a quick fuse to the laid back person who never lets anything get under his or her skin. Try not sweating the small stuff…your heart will thank you.

DISCLAIMER: No idiots were harmed during the writing of this post.

...that is all.

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  1. But...if we don't hurt them, how will they learn?!

  2. I know it is hard but we must try...I struggle with the urge to hurt an idiot almost daily. I found chewing gum helps a bit.

  3. It does get a little harder each and every day, for sure! I can only hope that the numbers are NOT increasing as much as they appear to be, ya know?

  4. Great post Flea. Stress is a killer. I stay 100% laid back. But it's easier for guys I think. Nothing really bothers me and I'm a lot happier because of it.

    Kentucky Preppers Network

  5. If anyone can tell me how to discuss health or life insurance costs without becoming stressed, I'd sure appreciate it. My current company is changing their minds about sticking to the 20 year 'guaranteed rate', and I am considering dropping an anvil on their feet. That or shoot them in the face with a bazooka, but I'm pretty sure that will not insure prompt and cheerful service . . .

  6. Good advice.
    Personally, I've learned to deal with that stuff in a calm manner. I put the clown into one of two categories. Either 1) their comments/actions warrant no follow-up and I ignore them or 2) I simply put them on the 30-day list and go about my business...