Tuesday, September 30, 2008

How To Survive Marriage

It is funny and every married man can tell you this; once we announce to folks our intention to get married...the inevitable response from most married males is "don't do it", "run while you still can!" etc. I, like most "about to" get married males, laughed it off as a joke. Unfortunately the joke is on you, because they ARE NOT joking.

Listen I LOVE my wife and would not change anything at this point but I would be one of those married males telling the guy with the deer in the headlights look, "Don't do it!" I have a good life, I really do...but can I honestly say it was better than being able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, however I wanted when I was single? It would be a stretch for me to say that. I really did enjoy those times.

I now have my wife who yells at me because of things I do, how I do them (God forbid I put the parking brake on before I put the car in park), what I should and should not eat, tells me when and where we are going, etc. Now before I start hearing the "Oh your just whipped." comments answer me this (all you married men): Even if you are happy, if your wife is not happy, are you really happy? The answer if you are truthful is you CAN NEVER be happy unless your wife is happy because she will drag you down to the bottom faster than if you had a boat anchor tied to your leg.

A wise man once told me to practice this phrase until you see it in your dreams: "Yes Dear..."

Guys are complete creatures of habit and once we have those habits they are tough to break BUT women are patient creatures...they WILL break you down, so the sooner you get with the program the easier your life will be.

Some tips:
1.) Be honest and open with your wife or husband - don't hide things, especially financial matters. Make sure everyone knows where the money is going every month.

2.) Be flexible...your idea of a good time may be sitting on the couch drinking beer and watching TV, your wife may want to do something else. Be flexible enough to do things her way once in awhile and she will be more tolerant of you sitting around when you really want to veg out.

3.) Go food shopping together and make a game of it. My wife and I do ALL of the shopping together as well as meal planning. It makes it more fun and interesting. You can also try and find the best deals at the store which makes it more entertaining than "just" the mundane task of food shopping.

4.) Make sure you each have some "alone time" and when I say that I mean it two different ways. First make sure you have some time away from each other with friends and outside interests. Secondly make sure your have some "ALONE TIME" if you catch my drift...no kids, dogs, friends, parents, TV or anything else, just you and your husband or wife.

5.) Do your very best to get along with your in-laws. I know sometimes it is tough. Bite your tongue once in awhile and try to be as accommodating as possible; after all they are part of your life now as well. I am not saying let them walk all over you...but don't actively try and pick fights.

These are just a few tidbits to help you survive being married which is a very hard thing by the way. Many marriages end in divorce and it seems that marriage has become disposable. Try not to be a statistic, do your best to be a good partner and contribute to your marriage in a productive way.

...that is all.

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  1. lol We've been married 25 years now. It will get better because she will reach the point where she will work around you better - "its a man thing". Sometime watch "last of the summer wine" & the women's tea parties, just love their comments on how to keep a husband. "Stodge 'em. They'll go straight to sleep in the recliner. Yes...but at least you'll know where they are & they won't be under yer feet."

  2. Great advice to say the least...Next time around if I ever marry again will file the dvice in the back of my head...Great post on a orginal topic......

  3. I've read that married men are generally happier and healthier than unmarried men. Can't say, not being a man. When I was single and looking around for a partner, I made my choice based on a couple of important factors for me. I wanted to be comfortable with the person I was with. He had to be intelligent and have good character. Hard worker, if possible to find. A good sense of humor. I wanted those things more than handsome or rich or any of the other reasons women cite. I found a good man and I am content. Marriage can be a pain in the ass. I was single by choice for ages--I like myself and don't mind being alone at all. But as we get older, it's nice to share life with another being. God wanted it that way, for men and women do complement each other--two parts of one whole. It ain't perfect, but then perfect is dull.

  4. Don't do it!!! There, I said it.

  5. My Dad said don't do it. Like you, I thought he was joking..... Where's the rewind button?!

  6. I've said it too single guys before thwey even think about getting married. Live with the girl. Don't marry them. Nothing like the freedom to be able to pick up your bags and leave.

  7. What Steve said - I learned the hard way that your independence is vital, and healthy in the early stages of a relationship.