By Flea - Be A Survivor
I hope California cracks off at the San Andreas fault and drops into the fucking ocean. There, that should win me some friends, and start the post off with the right tone. Followed Shortly thereafter by the Northeast portion of this fine country. I once lived in the People's Republic of New Jersey and that place is a notch below California in being fucked up beyond belief.
Now before you go all Rosie O'Donnell on my ass, I know there are some fine people being held prisoner in these re-education camps, either because of family or a job, and I feel for you, I really do. The rest of you need to fucking move to France...a place you love to hold up as a beacon of hope to the rest of us. Learn to speak French and the proper way to drop a rifle and high tail it away from danger (Le Coward)...get 45 weeks of vacation, or just fuck the whole job thing and become a dependent of the state.
Many of the people who live on the ends of this country often forget about the rest of us...those pesky people who cling to their God and their guns...I would help sign the petition on the White House website authorizing you to secede from the United States and form the joint republic of We'reFuckedUp-istan. Just show me where to sign...
Oh there are a few exceptions in the middle of the country like Chi-raq, I mean Chicago. The place with the strictest gun laws in the country yet more people were killed there last year than American soldiers in Afghanistan in the same time frame. None of the gun grabbers ever talk about Chicago. It's like that weird Uncle everyone has that we all know probably molested the neighbor's kids but everyone ignores it and say "oh that's just Uncle Johnny, he's always been a little different". It's the exception, not the rule.
When the "insert your choice of disaster here" hits, the population centers will be the first to bite the dust. Those folks are fucked, no two ways about it. You're packed in like sardines, in a nanny state that tells you when to piss, shit, or fart. They keep you placated and disarmed. "Don't worry it is REALLY hard to catch Ebola." Really? Then why are your telling me this covered in head to toe plastic and rubber with a respirator? If it's that fucking hard then why all the cloak and dagger? If it's that fucking hard why are people dropping like flies in Africa. If it's that fucking hard why is the WHO telling us the outbreak is spiraling out of control? I'll tell you why...BECAUSE IT AIN'T THAT FUCKING HARD to catch it. Granted the flu kills more people worldwide every year than just about everything else. I guess there just something about bleeding from your eyeballs that screams..."don't fucking catch me - run, don't walk, in the other direction."
Eh...Ebola- schmola. That shit is the least of our worries. I can't tell you enough how stupid the American public is. The vast majority of people mindlessly go through the motions. They have to be stupid because I cannot believe that people just don't care THAT MUCH.
Oh and here's your survival tip of the day (I forget this is a survival blog sometimes)...don't listen to survival experts who run survival blogs on the Internet if you want to survive...and oh yeah, store canned food..blah...blah....blah.
That is all...